self-control, courage, justice, and wisdom)

The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t.

Control your perceptions. Direct your actions properly. Willingly accept what’s outside your control.

Plan All The Way To The End.

begin with an end in mind.

Have you taken the time to get clarity about who you are and what you stand for? Or are you too busy chasing unimportant things, mimicking the wrong influences, and following disappointing or unfulfilling or nonexistent paths?

Epictetus is reminding you that serenity and stability are results of your choices and judgment, not your environment. If you seek to avoid all disruptions to tranquility—other people, external events, stress—you will never be successful. Your problems will follow you wherever you run and hide. But if you seek to avoid the harmful and disruptive judgments that cause those problems, then you will be stable and steady wherever you happen to be.

According to the Stoics, the circle of control contains just one thing: YOUR MIND.

Edmund Wilson read books “as though the author was on trial for his life.”

The more things we desire and the more we have to do to earn or attain those achievements, the less we actually enjoy our lives—and the less free we are.

“Take a good hard look at people’s ruling principle, especially of the wise, what they run away from and what they seek out.”

Don’t be afraid to make a change—a big one.

It’s making sure that your mind is in charge, not your emotions, not your immediate physical sensations, not your surging hormones. Fix your attention on your intelligence. Let it do its thing.

“It is quite impossible to unite happiness with a yearning for what we don’t have. Happiness has all that it wants, and resembling the well-fed, there shouldn’t be hunger or thirst.”

Locate that yearning for more, better, someday and see it for what it is: the enemy of your contentment. Choose it or your happiness. As Epictetus says, the two are not compatible.

Consider that when you crave something or contemplate indulging in a “harmless” vice.

What we desire makes us vulnerable.

“It is the privilege of the gods to want nothing, and of godlike men to want little.”

When it comes to your goals and the things you strive for, ask yourself: Am I in control of them or they in control of me?

“When children stick their hand down a narrow goody jar they can’t get their full fist out and start crying. Drop a few treats and you will get it out! Curb your desire—don’t set your heart on so many things and you will get what you need.” —E

we become aware of the ability to analyze our own minds.

If we do not focus on our internal integration—on self-awareness—we risk external disintegration.

“narrative fallacy”—the tendency to assemble unrelated events of the past into stories.

Listen and connect with people,

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

“Tell me with whom you consort and I will tell you who you are.”

Should I spend more or less time with these folks?

“It is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.”

Not how things appear, but what effort, activity, and choices they are a result of.

accept and love what’s happening around us.

There are two ways to be wealthy—to get everything you want or to want everything you have.

The good things in life cost what they cost. The unnecessary things are not worth it at any price.

child who is never given any boundaries will become spoiled. An investor without discipline is not an investor—he’s a gambler.

OK, what do I really want? What am I actually after here?

“trust, but verify.”

If we ever do want to become wise, it comes from the questioning and from humility—not, as many would like to think, from certainty, mistrust, and arrogance.

“It isn’t events themselves that disturb people, but only their judgments about them.”

“Throw out your conceited opinions, for it is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.”

Emerson put it well: “Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him.”

Not every opportunity is fraught with danger, but the play was intended to remind us that our attraction toward what is new and shiny can lead us into serious trouble.

“More matter with less art,”

Which will help your children more—your insight into happiness and meaning, or that you followed breaking political news every day for thirty years?

you can simply pay them and enjoy the fruits of what you get to keep.

And our opinion is often shaped by dogma (religious or cultural), entitlements, expectations, and in some cases, ignorance.

“If only the hearts of the wealthy were opened to all! How great the fears high fortune stirs up within them.”

The same is true of so many things we covet without really thinking.

wisdom, self-control, justice, courage.

Part of what Epictetus is saying here is that attention is a habit, and that letting your attention slip and wander builds bad habits and enables mistakes.

No one should be ashamed at changing his mind—that’s what the mind is for. “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” Emerson said, “adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.”

When someone points out a legitimate flaw in your belief or in your actions, they’re not criticizing you. They’re presenting a better alternative. Accept it!

The highest power is—

No power, if you desire nothing.”

Indifference to it, as Seneca put it, turns the highest power into no power, at least as far as your life is concerned.

Ignore everything else. Focus only on your choices.

Most rudeness, meanness, and cruelty are a mask for deep-seated weakness. Kindness in these situations is only possible for people of great strength. You have that strength. Use it.

(“Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind,”

we should take pleasure from our actions—in taking the right actions—rather than the results that come from them.

Appreciate and take advantage of what you already do have, and let that attitude guide your actions.

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

it’s better to plant the seeds of a few authors than to be scattered about by many.”

read the few great books deeply instead of briefly skimming all the new books?

to experience the joy of our proper human work.

One does not magically get one’s act together—it is a matter of many individual choices.

Choose the right way, and watch as all these little things add up toward transformation.

evaluate what you are doing, why you are doing it, and where accomplishing it will take you.

Turning his eyes earthward, he sees how comically small even the richest people, the biggest estates, and entire empires look from above. All their battles and concerns were made petty in perspective.

You’re meant for this. Bred for it.

stop seeking a scapegoat.”

“get active in your own rescue—if you care for yourself at all—and do it while you can.”

and focus instead on doing the absolutely smallest things well—practicing

none that at the outset isn’t modest and easily intervened—but

it’s easier to slow it down than to supplant it.”

Why them? Why not me? The other looks at those same people and thinks: If they can do it, why can’t I?

Stop digging. Then plan your way out.

‘Train my mind to adapt to any circumstance.’

they cultivate skills like creativity, independence, self-confidence, ingenuity, and the ability to problem solve.

(To live is to fight.)

Discipline Fortitude Courage Clearheadedness Selflessness Sacrifice And which attributes lose wars? Cowardice Rashness Disorganization Overconfidence Weakness Selfishness As in war, so these attributes matter in daily life.

‘The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is so we might listen more and talk less.’”

So, let’s step back from her as much as possible.”

“Let Fate find us prepared and active. Here is the great soul—the one who surrenders to Fate. The opposite is the weak and degenerate one, who struggles with and has a poor regard for the order of the world, and seeks to correct the faults of the gods rather than their own.”

you were too busy with the details to let the whole sweep of the situation crush you.

“Calm is contagious.”

instill calm—not by force but by example.

take a walk.

Hope is not a strategy!

there any reason to fight about this? Is arguing going to help solve anything?

How you handle even minor adversity might seem like nothing, but, in fact, it reveals everything.

TURN HAVE TO INTO GET TO

understanding the importance of perseverance, the dangers of hubris, the risks of temptation and distraction?

willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life—is

We have to quit monkeying around and be the owners of our own lives.

Whatever humble art you practice: Are you sure you’re making time for it? Are you loving what you do enough to make the time? Can you trust that if you put in the effort, the rest will take care of itself? Because it will. Love the craft, be a craftsman.

“In your actions, don’t procrastinate. In your conversations, don’t confuse. In your thoughts, don’t wander. In your soul, don’t be passive or aggressive. In your life, don’t be all about business.”

A third kind of person acts as if not conscious of the deed, rather like a vine producing a cluster of grapes without making further demands,

Don’t get carried away. Take it slow. Train with humility.

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

mindless, meaningless sympathy does very little either

“Work is what horses die of. Everybody should know that.”

all evil needs to prevail is for good men to do nothing.

But can you be fully content with your life, can you bravely face what life has in store from one day to the next, can you bounce back from every kind of adversity without losing a step, can you be a source of strength and inspiration to others around you? That’s Stoic joy—the joy that comes from purpose, excellence, and duty. It’s a serious thing—far more serious than a smile or a chipper voice.

You must no longer feel anger, resentment, envy, or regret.”

The inexperienced and fearful talk to reassure themselves.

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

Without it, no one can live without fear or free from care. Countless things happen every hour that require advice, and such advice is to be sought out in philosophy.”

You might see a pattern: consistency.

You become the sum of your actions, and as you do, what flows from that—your impulses—reflect the actions you’ve taken. Choose wisely.

“A good person is invincible, for they don’t rush into contests in which they aren’t the strongest.

The key to accomplishing that is to ruthlessly expunge the inessential from our lives.

What vanity obligates us to do, what greed signs us up for, what ill discipline adds to our plate, what a lack of courage prevents us from saying no to. All of this we must cut, cut, cut.

More important, outward transformation—in our clothes, in our cars, in our grooming—might feel important but is superficial compared with the inward change. That’s the change that only we know about.

by longing for things to come it will lose the ability to enjoy present things.”

Let the news come when it does. Be too busy working to care.

“Appeal to People’s Self-Interest Never to Their Mercy or Gratitude.”

He was looking for wisdom, period.

What matters is whether it makes your life better, whether it makes you better.

just focused on merit?

“let come what may”

“What does not kill me makes me stronger,” Nietzsche said.

“But there is no reason to live and no limit to our miseries if we let our fears predominate.”

“Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”

“It is precisely in times of immunity from care that the soul should toughen itself beforehand for occasions of greater stress… . If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes.”

You’ve been granted a strong fortress. Don’t betray it.

But what about asking for fortitude and strength so you can do what you need to do? What if you sought clarity on what you do control, what is already within your power? You might find your prayers have already been answered.

“First practice not letting people know who you are—keep your philosophy to yourself for a bit.

Growing one to feed a family? That’s a pure and profitable use of your time. The seeds of Stoicism are long underground. Do the work required to nurture and tend to them. So that they—and you—are prepared and sturdy for the hard winters of life.

We don’t have time to think about what other people are thinking, even if it’s about us.

but an adaptable will—a

It’s not weak to change and adapt. Flexibility is its own kind of strength. In fact, this flexibility combined with strength is what will make us resilient and unstoppable.

UPON THE FIELDS OF FRIENDLY STRIFE ARE SOWN THE SEEDS THAT, UPON OTHER FIELDS, ON OTHER DAYS WILL BEAR THE FRUITS OF VICTORY.

The greats don’t avoid these tests of their abilities. They seek them out because they are not just the measure of greatness, they are the pathway to it.

“Anyone who truly wants to be free,” Epictetus said, “won’t desire something that is actually in someone else’s control, unless they want to be a slave.”

Make yourself invulnerable to your dependency on comfort and convenience, or one day your vulnerability might bring you to your knees.

Rather, it’s to allow for the pursuit of your real calling now that a big distraction is out of the way.

“power doesn’t corrupt, it reveals.”

Your actual needs are small. There is very little that could happen that would truly threaten your survival. Think about that—and adjust your worries and fears accordingly.

“Meditate often on the interconnectedness and mutual interdependence of all things in the universe.

Today, take a moment to remember that we are woven together and that each of us plays a role (good, bad, or ugly) in this world.

You can always get up after you fall, but remember, what has been said can never be unsaid. Especially cruel and hurtful things.

when you consider how sure-footed and effortless the works of understanding and knowledge are.”

Is this thing I’m about to do consistent with what I believe? Or, better: Is this the kind of thing the person I would like to be should do?

persist and resist.”

reverence and justice.

you have to preface your remarks with indicators of honesty or directness, what does that say about everything else you say?

the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

Yet almost every situation is made better by love—or empathy, understanding, appreciation—even situations in which you are in opposition to someone.

it is not our question to ask. Instead, it is we who are being asked the question. It’s our lives that are the answer.

Let’s not confuse getting better at stuff with being a better person. One is a much bigger priority than the other.

Display then those qualities in your own power: honesty, dignity, endurance, chastity, contentment, frugality, kindness, freedom, persistence, avoiding gossip, and magnanimity.”

You have two essential tasks in life: to be a good person and to pursue the occupation that you love.

The third inquires into the proper meaning of words, and their arrangements and proofs which keep falsehoods from creeping in to displace truth.”

“Character is fate.”

amor fati (a love of fate).

“[We] came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

As soon as you can attune your spirit to that idea, the easier and happier your life will be, because you will have given up the most potent addiction of all: control.

“Don’t trust in your reputation, money, or position, but in the strength that is yours—namely, your judgments about the things that you control and don’t control. For this alone is what makes us free and unfettered, that picks us up by the neck from the depths and lifts us eye to eye with the rich and powerful.”

Alexander reaches a river crossing only to be confronted by a philosopher who refuses to move. “This man has conquered the world!” one of Alexander’s men shouts. “What have you done?” The philosopher responds, with complete confidence, “I have conquered the need to conquer the world.”

“Would you have a great empire? Rule over yourself!”

Nothing is exempt from this fluidity, not even the things we hold most sacred.

You’re just like the people who came before you, and you’re but a brief stopover until the people just like you who will come after.

“Never complain, never explain.”

“No man steps in the same river twice.”

Everything is change. Embrace that. Flow with it.

“Hecato says, ‘cease to hope and you will cease to fear.’ … The primary cause of both these ills is that instead of adapting ourselves to present circumstances we send out thoughts too far ahead.”

want is what causes the worry.

Leave other people to their faults. Nothing in Stoic philosophy empowers you to judge them—only to accept them. Especially when we have so many of our own.

Accept only what is true. 2. Work for the common good. 3. Match our needs and wants with what is in our control. 4. Embrace what nature has in store for us.

“there is one thing and only one thing that causes unhappiness. The name of that thing is Attachment.”

We are like the Red Queen in Alice in Wonderland—running faster and faster to stay in the same place.

whereas luxury destroys both the body and the soul, causing weakness and incapacity in the body, and lack of control and cowardice in the soul. What’s more, luxury breeds injustice because it also breeds greediness.”

cultivated ignorance.

logos

“solve the problems of life, not only theoretically but practically.”

To philosophize is to learn how to die

Sword of Damocles.

“the number of people who stand ready to consume one’s time, to no purpose, is almost countless.”

we are far too lax at enforcing our mental boundaries.

He says to put real thought into every transaction: Am I getting my money’s worth here? Is this a fair trade?

“Life is long if you know how to use it.”

it’s dangerous to have faith in what you do not control.

Who am I? What’s important to me? What do I like? What do I need?

Take charge and stake your own claim—something posterity will carry in its notebook.”

Your own experiences have value. You have accumulated your own wisdom too. Stake your claim. Put something down for the ages—in words and also in example.

Constant work gives rise to a certain kind of dullness and feebleness in the rational soul.”

“To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden.” —SENECA, H

“Stop wandering about! You aren’t likely to read your own notebooks, or ancient histories, or the anthologies you’ve collected to enjoy in your old age. Get busy with life’s purpose, toss aside empty hopes, get active in your own rescue—if you care for yourself at all—and do it while you can.”

the “words become works.”